Destroying Konoha
by Randomonium
Summary: Pein, Sasuke and Madara all want to destroy Konoha. What arguments must have ensued... Crack fic. Just a bit of fun, please read and review! I wish I could select three characters...


**Destroying Konoha**

_Considering Madara, Sasuke and Pein all want to destroy Konoha, this could be a scene before Pein actually went and did it. At least he had some intiative._

"Dude, no, I want to destroy Konoha!"

"Uh-uh, dude, I so totally had first dibs!"

"I wanna!"

"Tough! I'm going to!"

"Who the hell do you think you are, squirt?"

"Uchiha Sasuke, dude, I am like awesome."

"Madara, keep your clan brat under control and out of the way while I destroy Konoha."

"Oh yeah, like that's gonna happen. _You _can keep him outta _my _way while _I _destroy Konoha."

"Fat chance! No way am I playing babysitter to some Uchiha upstart while you destroy Konoha. Because _I _want to destroy Konoha, and I damn well am going to!"

"Oi, old-timers, just accept that the new generation is now in reign. You guys should just lie down in your graves already, because _I'm _gonna be the one who destroys Konoha!"

"Oh-ho, you think you're all that, don't you?"

"That's because I am all that, uh-huh!"

"Whatever, dudes, we all know that I'm gonna be the one to destroy Konoha."

"Oh, grow a brain."

"I want to destroy Konoha to get vengeance for my brother and clan! I am the last Uchiha, _it is my duty_!"

"Um, hello?? I'm here too!"

"Yeah, well, I wanna get the kyuubi, and that might require destroying Konoha in the process!"

"My mission is so much more worthy!"

"You just wanna get vengeance! I wanna control the world's wars!"

"…yeah, I just think it'd be fun. And I don't really like the place."

"Yeah, some of the buildings are really kitsch. And they're like all over the place."

"I know! They so completely mess with the feng shui of the place. They would do so much better if there was just a little _order _in there!"

"Totally! Oh, and don't get me _started _on the Hokage statues! I mean, what do they think it is, Mount Rushmore?!"

"MY FACE SHOULD BE UP THERE OHMYGAWD!"

"Whoa, Madara, chill. You're gonna blow a blood vessel."

"When you Uchiha ladies have finished gossiping, would you mind retiring to your bedchambers? We don't want you to get hurt by the flying shrapnel from when _I _destroy Konoha!"

"Dude, that is _so _not going to be you!"

"I am the boss of the Akatsuki, it is my _right_!"

"Um, yeah, dude, I kinda _created _the Akatsuki, sor-_ry_."

"Whatever, I give the orders so _blegh_."

"Oh, real mature."

"Point is, I outrank you, _Tobi-chan_, so I so totally get to destroy Konoha."

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm _older _than you, which means _I _get to destroy Konoha."

"Yeah, you're so old you should be _compost,_ you FON!"

"…FON?"

"Freak Of Nature, duh, no-one should be able to live for as long as you have."

"…whatever, I'm still older than you."

"Yeah, well, granddads are older than the young men, but do _they _get sent to fight a war instead of their sons? Noooo."

"You guys are really immature for men of your ages, seriously. I should destroy Konoha."

"Shut up, squirt, you're younger than both of us."

"Yeah, you've barely finished puberty."

"Yeah, but I'm _so_ much handsomer than both of you. Beauty before age any day, suckers!"

"…I think you got the saying wrong."

"Well, my way's more correct."

"…I have lost all hope for this clan."

"Hey, that's what my brother said!"

"Oh great, the only one with potential is dead."

"But I shall be the one to destroy Konoha and all it's inhabitants!"

"Seriously, Pein, get over yourself, I am the senior member."

"Er, actually Tobi's the most recent addition to Akatsuki, so really you're not."

"I'm one of the Sound Five!"

"No-one cares!"

"No need to be so _harsh _about it…"

"Aw, is the ickle baby going to go cry in his emo corner?"

"Well, at last he's realised he's going to lose."

"Ha! You wish! I'm so gonna be the one who destroys Konoha!"

"Oh, bull! There's more of me!"

"What do you mean there's more of you?"

"I have _six _bodies, biatch."

"I'm like a hundred years old."

"…I have six bodies, biatch."

"Turn off the stuck record, jeez."

"Oh, look, little emo child has returned from his little cry."

"Can I kill you?"

"Like you could."

"Dudes, okay, pause argument. We'll have to finish this another time, I have to go."

"I'm so gonna win."

"No, you're not, I'm so gonna be the one to destroy Konoha."

"See ya, bitches!"

"…why does he sound so smug?"

"…I don't know…"

_Pein decided to skip the whole 'let's see who'll win the argument' and just went ahead and destroyed Konoha. He displayed something called 'initiative'. __The two Uchiha's were, understandably, miffed at Pein's actions, at his (in their opinion) unsporting behaviour. Payback was to be exacted as soon as they stopped arguing long enough to come up with a plan. No documentation until it is complete- please hold for the next hundred years. _

-END-

**A/N: It's not **_**meant **_**to be realistic. They're not **_**meant **_**to be in character. **__**I might have some facts wrong, I don't know. But it's kind of just a thing I came up with (with some bantering prompt type thingies from Megami Ze) and it's just a bit of fun. I hope it made you laugh- please review and tell me if it did! Or even if it didn't. Please no flames, they're pointless, it's just a bit of fun.**


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